When my in-laws, Henry and Diane Witek, told me they were moving to the The Villages, Florida my mind immediately went to the M. Night Shyamalan’s movie, The Village.
Demons? A freaky little community? Supernatural situations? What could this place be?
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Henry, was quick to explain that it was an active retirement community located in sunny central Florida. According to the website prednisone for dogs buy online uk the purpose was “To create a retirement community where people’s dreams could come true.” It boasted a redefinition of retirement living: great, affordable homes with lifestyle and amenities for every cycle of retirement life.
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That’s a tall order! My idea of retirement would be in the Amalfi Coast, Italy with Cristiano Ronaldo (age now) serving me Krug Rose champagne in his CR7’s, Mario Batali cooking my meals, DogPound still training me and Keith, Rambo and I just chilling in our infinity pool looking at the beautiful clear blue sea.
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Well, I have been there twice now and while it’s not my vision of retirement, I could see how it’s a paradise for the people who have chosen to end their lives there.
Imagine a Disney Land for over-55 year-olds. It holds more than 100k residents in an area bigger than the island of Manhattan. And… everyone gets around via golf cart. I’m not going to lie, the first time I visited, I couldn’t believe it. There were designated parking areas for golf carts at all the businesses. There were golf-cart tracks. There were golf-cart tunnels and even a golf-cart bridges to cross the major highways. I can’t make this up.
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Why golf carts do you ask? The Villages is really a village. Within those gates you have everything you need: Town Squares, Theaters, Shopping + Dining, Grocery Stores, Doctors, Schools…
Here’s the kicker, those carts can cost upwards of $25k and you can pimp them out with rims, make them look like a hummer or race car, add custom detail, etc. I guess when you retire and you have extra dough to spend, why wouldn’t you do it with a custom golf cart?
The Villages is also known for its extensive amount of golf courses – I think there are over 3 dozen. I am not going to pretend to know anything about golf. I went to a Nike Golf School and own my own clubs. I wound up perfecting my flask swig vs. my golf swing and I have used my clubs once. Golfing is just not my thing.
Henry is The Village’s golf course expert. He knows every course name, clubhouse, trail, the animals that inhabit the courses…trust me, he has educated me so well on these topics even I know my way around at this point. The man has his own bench on the first hole of one of the courses. I finally saw it live on this Christmas Trip.
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There are additional “distinctions” about The Villages. In 2009, the buy prednisone australia labeled it “ground zero for geriatrics who are seriously getting it on.” The story reported that couples had been caught having quickies in the golf carts and noted there was a thriving black market for Viagra. These facts make me chuckle.
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My favorite thing about The Villages is that they forbid children. Kids can of course visit briefly, but that’s about it. They have to get visitor passes, haha! The place is truly a +55 adult playground.
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So that’s the summary of the Villages, Florida. Here’s the detail on the Christmas Visit and how I spent 4.5 days there.
- The earliest flight from Newark to Orlando. Children galore!
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- Diane makes the best bacon. I’ll give the woman that! She made me a BLT with a garnish of bacon.
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- Keith, Henry and his brother Steven go golfing. Diane and I get more groceries (need food!) and do some shopping in one of the Towne Squares. I discover The Villages makes its own wine.
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- Dinner at Cody’s – check out these Happy Hour Specials and prices! How do they make money? As soon as I sat down, I ordered the 2 for 1 special: red wine baby! Oh, and the grilled wings were actually delicious. The young chef, Cory, came out and I gave him a hug.
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Day 2 – Christmas Day:
- Since the plan was to golf in the morning, there was no formal breakfast. I made myself a roast beef sandwich on a whole wheat pita with my morning supplements.
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- Golfing – you can see how engaged I was in this activity.
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- Nicknaming The Witek Family the Buttertons because I have never seen so much butter used in my life.
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- 4pm Christmas dinner – The Witek’s Christmas Tradition is to serve a prime rib for dinner. See my 2015 Summary post for more detail. It’s a very simple Christmas meal.
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- Seeing the holiday lights on the houses.
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- Took a side trip to see my Aunt and Uncle, and cousins in Palm Coast. Food frenzy and fun times.
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- When I returned to The Villages, before dinner, we sat and watched a concert in one of the Towne Squares. 55+ folks were moving and shaking. It was definitely a sight to see.
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- Had a lovely brunch at one of the golf course clubhouses. Mimosas! Pancakes! Bacon! Omelets! I ate everything.
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- Star Wars 3-D – the force was with me for sure!
- Killed 2 bottles of Caliche Rum and Don Q Limon at Las Tapas. Sara, our bartender was terrific and created some special on the spot cocktails for the guests. Diane and her 12 girlfriends have become mini ambassadors and visit the account once a month for Caliche/Don Q Cocktails.
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- Time to go home. We had to deal with this security nightmare in the Orlando airport. I have never seen so many wheelchairs and carriages under one roof. It was like the circle of life condensed.
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