2018 was another unexpected year. My 2 pregnancy posts summarized that portion, but how did everything else go?
I truly believe days are long, but years are short.There was a flood of activity not only for me but for loved ones. Majority of our dearest friends had children. Welcome Lucas, Angelo, Ethan, Bernadette, Leela, and Julianna. Gabriel is so excited to have playmates his age. Friends bought beautiful homes/moved away from the city – some even went international! There were showers, engagements, weddings, and pet children, too!
Travelling was minimized for Keith and I, but the stand out trip was Greece. We often spoke about retiring there one day.
That or the Amalfi Coast – LVMH did acquire Belmond Properties and Hotel Caruso is their Amalfi Coast Hotel…
This year reaffirmed that life is completely unpredictable and the only thing you have somewhat control over is the actual present moment. This will continue to be a lifetime challenge for me because I’m a planner by nature, but I’ve learned to surrender to the universe and ‘hand it up’, or as Keith jokingly refers to it as ‘Jesus take the wheel!’. Here is my new serenity prayer.
After reflecting on this year, I decided my ambitions for 2019 are health and work-life integration.
Mission 1: Overall Physical, Spiritual and Emotional Health
I hate feeling tired and run down. I also hate my anxiety. I spent most of 2018 out of control physically and emotionally and it was debilitating. Some stand out comments this year were:
‘You always seem to have it together’ (my inner voice: I can’t remember what I did a minute ago)
‘You make it look so easy’ (my inner voice: Probably because I have the mentality of a 5thgrader and need to dumb everything down)
‘Your life is perfect’ (my inner voice: You obviously know nothing about my life)
‘Don’t you ever get pissed off’ (my inner voice: Every flipping day)
‘You are always so zen’ (my inner voice: It’s because I have a round old Asian head and look like Buddha)
Although I could sit and whine about little discomforts of life, I realize I am so blessed for all I DO have, and worked hard for. It also means I have a lot to live for. I want my days on this earth to be happy, fulfilling, and fueled with positive energy and love.
So after 7 years of a resolution to be the ‘healthiest version of me’, which I have epically failed at, how am I going to finally achieve it? Drum roll….
- Balanced Energetic – I already started with the Alternative Medical Evaluation and feel a huge improvement in a month
- Consistent Exercise – Cycle Bar and Rodney Yee Yoga DVDs
- DASH Diet with the use of my new Instapot
- Meditation – thanks Headspace
- Herna surgery – yup, I discovered this year I have 2 hernias from my pregnancy and have to take care of that.
So what does success look like? Well, my goal is to be off half my hypertension medication dose by end of year (if not everything!), fit into my circa 2008 summer clothes (that was a fabulous wardrobe season that I refused to donate with the hopes of squeezing my fat ass into again), no more broken anything, natural vibrant energy with a little shot of caffeine when needed, no more crazy anxiety chatter, and the ability to do this kick up move again.
Mission #2 Master a work-life integration.
I believe sacrificing family time, free time and personal well-being for a career isn’t necessary.
What truly defines success isn’t the long hours, it’s the innate talent and high-level contributions that may be buried under fears of protecting that hard-earned place at the table.
In 2019, I want to train myself to mentally disconnect from the pace of a stressful career and show up calm & energized at home. I don’t want to feel guilty about self-care, making doctor appointments, working out and getting healthy. I need to learn to navigate my career with authentic authority, lose the fear, and show up at with unapologetic influence.
I want to be a multi-dimensional woman with dreams and desires that are not buried under a mountain of commitment and the daily grind. I believe we are all go-getters, doers, architects of our destiny.
My personal style is to build things and make things happen on my own terms; I hate waiting for others. Waiting and allowing things to happen are not in my DNA.
However, in the game of life, we all receive a unique set of unexpected limitations and variables in the field of play. The question is: How will you respond to the hand you’ve been dealt? You can either focus on the lack thereof or empower yourself to play the game sensibly and resourcefully, making the very best of every outcome as it arises, even when it’s heartbreaking and hard to accept.
The older you grow, the more mindful you become. Life humbles you gradually as you age. You realize just how much nonsense you’ve wasted time on. I am done with that.
So how am I going to do this?
- Train the mind to see the silver linings. Positivity is my choice.
- Realize life will take things from you, and give things to you, gradually and continuously. It’s funny how we outgrow what we once thought we couldn’t live without (clothes, bags, shoes), and then we fall in love with what we didn’t even know we wanted (Gabriel). I will do my best to embrace life’s uncertainties as they arise.
- Be selective in your battles. I can’t control how other people receive my energy. Anything I do or say gets filtered through the lens of whatever they are going through at the moment, which has nothing to do with me. Just keep doing my thing with as much love and integrity as possible.
- Remind myself every day that Life doesn’t get easier, I just get stronger.
Usually my annual recap posts are must longer than this, but I am trying to finish this up in order to post before the actual new year. Having a baby poses some challenges with his schedule and the fact that we both wound up pretty sick the past few days delayed a lot.
In summary, 2018 was filled with unexpected perfectly imperfect surprises. All the experiences taught me to re-prioritize and truly recognize the mission critical tasks. It definitely made me grateful, stronger and wiser… and for that I am so excited to go into 2019 with a new hopes and ambitions.
I wish all the love and health to my friends and families in this new year. Here is how I hope we all approach the new year.